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What is Counseling About - and For? Working with a counselor for issues in one’s life is much like working with a coach in sports. In fact, you could even call your counselor a coach because coaching is part of what he or she does. The job of a good coach is to help the members of the team achieve their highest potential in the game. Every player – no matter how good, needs a coach from time to time in order to get better. It is useful to have a coach, because this way improvement happens faster. The same is true when you work with a counselor. Most of us have things that we would like to improve in our lives. Working with a counselor can help to speed up the process and reduce the pain of learning - or the pain of feeling stuck. Though it is usually OK to ask a coach for help in a sport, many people often feel they shouldn’t need any help with things like relationships, family, depression, anger, and other emotional issues. Many people suffer needlessly for years, when all that is really needed is a bit of coaching - or counseling, from someone who can look at the situation from a different perspective. As a counselor, I work with people of all ages, employing different styles and techniques according to the needs of each person. My principal form of practice stems from Integrative Body Psychotherapy, but I also employ Cognitive Behavioural, Family, Gestalt, Existential and Person Centered techniques when and as required by the situation. I have experience working with people in the following areas:
Marriage, Family, and Relationship Our culture puts stress on relationships and families and it is not hard to lose our way while trying to balance work, a partner, children, in-laws and friends and still find a bit of time or space for one’s self. Relationships are the most precious jewels that one can have. They are worth working on. I have counseled many children, working with most of the issues listed above, as well as others. If your child is suffering from anxiety, shyness, bullying, anger, behaviour problems, learning difficulties, or other issues it is may be useful for him or her to talk to a counselor. Depression is the “illness of our times”, and Canadians spent approximately $1.2 billion on antidepressants in 2005 (up from $543 million in 2000). Depression causes life to be viewed through a damp gray filter that hides the beauty and excitement of the world. Depression does not have to be forever, and counseling has been shown by many studies to be an effective method of recovery. Anxiety and stress are even more pervasive than depression in our world at this time – and children often suffer even more than adults. Although we can’t avoid all stressful situations, it is very possible to learn how to reduce and minimize stress and anxiety. In intimate relationships, sex can be like a canary in a coal mine. When sex becomes a point of contention, it generally indicates that other parts of the relationship are also out of balance. Learning new relationship tools and getting help to repair worn or strained parts of a relationship can bring new life, excitement, and love into your life. Anger is the breaker of spirits and hearts. It can be devastating for children and relationships, and poisonous in a work situation. For those who suffer from the ravages of anger, there is very good news. There are tools that can help to turn the energy of anger into something that helps rather than hurts. Loss comes to us all at one point or another. It can be very painful, and also a powerful teacher. Grief reminds us what is precious in life. Working with a counsellor can help to transform grief into wisdom. Body and Mind are connected and state of mind has powerful effects on the state of the body. Working with both body and mind can help to increase the ability of the body/mind system to overcome illness and injury. There are times in life when, due to a crisis, the approach of middle age, or other reasons, one loses a sense of meaning or purpose in life. Work, money or even family can seem empty. Working with a counsellor can help to re-connect with one’s inner self and deepest beliefs and to create new understandings of meaning and purpose in life. Personal Growth and Development Personal growth can be anything from setting a goal and a course of action to make more money, to deciding to bring a deeper sense of peace, gratitude, and reverence into your life and making it happen. Improving the “Self” is not “selfish” because as we become more able to be fully who we are, we are more capable of helping others as well. Sometimes there are issues at work that make being there very uncomfortable. Sometimes there are problems with a boss, with coworkers, or with the situation that seem to have no solution. Sometimes one becomes aware of issues of anger or communication difficulties that hold one back from achieving as much as they can. Coaching in communication skills and in relationship skills or counseling to help find the root of the problem and correct it can help to bring positive change, so that you can achieve what you want to achieve. Are you willing to take care of yourself? There are many reasons to visit a coach or counsellor – too many to list fully here. Whatever your goal or reason may be, it makes sense to invest in the most important asset you have – yourself.
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